A Student's Dilemma

     I wonder, should I go class? Every time when I wake up in the morning for 8am class, I will count how many time did I skipped the class. But yes, I hardly skip classes, my attendances are nearly full. This is because I feel guilty if I skip it. On the other hand, there is also a realistic reason which is I must go because I already pay for the tuition fee. So I must not waste money, I must earn the knowledge. Logic! I pay to gain knowledge and the ultimate goal is to obtain the certificate.

     Many students don't really care because they can self-study at home, but I can't since I don't have the determination and discipline. Most of my friends thought I'm a hardworking and smart student because my face say so. LOL! What do you mean by " see your face also know your result sure very good one." Haha, are you saying I'm a nerd? But I don't wear spectacle.

     That's right! Everyone always has a perception. They always have pre-judgemental without understanding or seek for clarification before they judge. Even my Academic advisor also said, by looking at us, she knew that we are good students. Well, we are good students indeed, we are obedient and respectful. We do our homework, we care for the grades because we care our face.

     The main obstacles now is our own. Own self , self-centred are the main enemy. I want to save face, I feel guilty if skip class, I pay for the tuition fee that is why I go to class to acquire knowledge, I did not wear specs so I'm not nerd, I work hard and obedient because I want to achieve good grades. So many "I"........I once heard the story, why Christian symbol is a "I" symbol with a horizontal line in middle? That is because, Jesus want his followers not to be self-centred, therefore, he cross the " I" and it became "+" sign now.

     Only if I was not that self-centred and emphasized so much on face-saving, not being so stubborn, I will probably now graduated in UM at this age. Human shall never regret on losing things that they aren't supposed to have, so I'm still considered lucky that I'm here to study at UTAR after two years of working life. At least I can still come back to study, we never know how much others' want to go back to study life but they can't as they have too many dilemma in life.